You've always got a Friend in Me
by reckiewriter
Summary: They met during their first year of Starfleet, and although they never became a couple, they maintained a special and important friendship.
1. Chapter 1

"Commander Thatcher, it has a nice ring to it." Geordie teased as he greeted his friend at Ten Forward. The young woman smiled and brushed a piece of short hair behind her ear.

"I could say the same thing to you my friend! Commander Laforge has a sweet sound to it as well and also a secondary promotion to head of engineering! That is so exciting!" Anya gushed. "I'm almost thinking that I'm not going to be worthy of being your friend any longer!"

"We've been friends since our second day of the academy, somehow I think a few promotions isn't going to get in the way." Geordie assured as he lead Anya over to a table were they put their drinks down and watched the rest of the crowd assemble to await the start of one of the weekly performances.

"I'm glad to know that Geordie, you truly are a good friend and I do treasure all the experiences that we've shared over the past years." Anya smiled warmly at her friend.

"So, am I going to meet your mysterious new friend tonight?" Geordie asked as they waited.

"I think so. Kyle is accompanying the strings tonight. He's been practicing for a few weeks with them." Anya smiled.

"Remind me how you met him again?" Geordie asked as he looked over at his friend and realized that although they shared a friendship, nothing more was going to come of it. He always was just the friend to people. Geordie was a little sad to realize that as he found Anya smart, funny as well as hard working and driven, she wasn't interested in him like that. Anya was interested in this Kyle though as she blushed just talking about him.

"I was teaching a botany lesson to a group of tenth years. Kyle teaches music and languages. We ended our class at the same time and we sort of found each other in the corridor. He's only been on the Enterprise for about a month. He hasn't decided if he will renew his civilian teaching contract at the end of his term. He's very talented, and the students really enjoy him."

"What does he think of you?" Geordie asked.

"I think he likes me." Anya sighed.

"Well then, I hope things work out."

"Me too." Anya then looked over at the entrance to Ten Forward and noticed Kyle and the other musicians coming into the room. The lights dimmed a little and the music started.

"Are you serious?" Kyle asked as Anya handed him the information from her family. "You'd leave the Enterprise for me?" Anya stood in her blue uniform in front of him and nodded her head, somewhere along the way the important part of her career that had driven her throughout the past six years was suddenly not as important to her, if Kyle wasn't interested in staying then she would leave too. It surprised her what her love for this man was about to do.

"You have always wanted to live on a planet. I can continue to do my research and my colony needs teachers. I could be closer to my parents and I know that Bruderholf would be a great place to raise a family."

You are willing to leave all this?" Kyle asked again. They hadn't been married for very long, but Anya new that the Enterprise was more her home than his, and like any good relationship sacrifices needed to be offered to help develop a stronger relationship.

"I am." Anya admitted. "If you want to go, I will go as well."

"Let's subspace tonight." Kyle suggested and Anya nodded in agreement.

"I will miss you!" Geordie shared as Anya cleaned the last of her lab space.

"I will also miss you my friend!" Anya looked at the man and sighed. He was the only one that understood her feelings. Kyle was as well, but in a different way. He wasn't aware of all the history behind why Anya had chosen to leave her colony, but Geordie was. She had shared it with him over the years.

"Will you stay in touch?"

"Someone needs to look at my research before I submit it!" Anya Smiled. "Although I'm not sure how much research will be done right away. It looks like teaching will be my new work for a while. The deacons feel that I shouldn't make too many waves with my research, as it doesn't really fall into the philosophy of the colony, but I have a friend on the medical team and they are willing to provide some space for me in the clinic."

"Anya, you're so talented! Don't you feel like your gifts are going to be wasted?" Geordie asked.

"I'm going to be teaching children…" Anya started. "I will be home where I can try out some of my ideas that I've started here in the growing labs and I will be able to move them to the real ground with actual sun and rain and bugs and animals that will eat, or burn or flood them out. It will be good to try… I will have my family close by and I will have Kyle and he will be happy."

"Will you be happy?" Geordie asked.

"As long as I have Kyle I will be content. Happiness is something that you have to find in everything." Anya returned. "I hope that you will continue to enjoy your successes and find happiness as well." Anya hugged her friend and Geordie sighed as he watched her leave.


	2. Chapter 2

(Dear readers, please note that most of this section focuses on Anya and her life with her husband. Geordie is in the story, but the story of Anya is important for future chapters. I will post quickly so it will all make sense. Thanks)

My Dear Friend Geordie,

I sit and write to you tonight, as even subspace is time consuming here planet bound. Kyle and I continue to teach the children here in the colony. Kyle has taken to planet living, like I took to starship living a complete natural and enjoys everything there is about living here.

I have found enjoyment in returning to the colony as well. I have started teaching the older children and have actually come upon one of my students with true talent and interested in attending Starfleet. I've told him that I will be sharing his information with you and that you might be in touch and help him with his application process. I could assist as well, but as with all things, I have to prioritize, Kyle and I are pregnant and planning our 1st child just after Christmas….

Geordie sighed as he finished the letter, and thought that although Anya sounded happy and content, he did wonder if she truly was as truthful as she claimed to be. He knew that Anya was trying to keep up with her research and some of the information that she had sent was looking very positive and helpful, yet he from what he remembered of his friend, Anya wasn't the type to just settle and he was sure that this lifestyle wasn't easy for her to adjust too. Geordie looked out into the deep space and sighed as he thought about Anya as a mother, that was something he wanted to witness and wondered if he would have the chance to, he had some shore leave coming and thought that a visit might be in order.

The last of her students lingered in the hallway as Anya cleared the lesson off the board and then put the tests into her satchel ready to take home to mark.

"Ms Thatcher. Did you have a minute before you leave?" Anya turned to see one of her students come towards her.

"Always Duncan, did you want to walk with me to the office?" Anya asked.

"Ok." Duncan pulled out a tablet from his pocket and handed it to Anya. "I was just curious if I have the scores in your class that would qualify for this scholarship." Anya stopped in the process and took the tablet. She looked at the scholarship that Duncan was talking about and smiled.

"Absolutely." Anya answered without a pause. "You are the brightest one in my class. You apply and Starfleet will welcome you with open arms."

"You think?" Duncan continued to need encouragement.

"Our Settlement hasn't sent anyone to Starfleet for almost 10 years. They will take you absolutely. Plus you want to be in Astro Science, I know for a fact that they are always looking for new recruits in that field. I just heard from one of my friends on the Enterprise a few weeks ago and he mentioned that their own Science department had three vacancies currently." Anya told the young man. "You write the letter and I'll send my references with them."

"Thanks Ms Thatcher that would be great."

"Good Luck." Anya smiled and watched the young man head down the hallway and out the front door of the small school. She carefully placed a hand on her lower abdomen and thought that it was a good time for a break from school. She could use a break.

"All done?" Grace asked as Anya came into the office.

"Yes, I just have to log the results of the tests the kids took today and hopefully we can have a break. The kids just hate the placement tests."

"I hate doing them too, but the federation insists that all children complete them." Kyle agreed as he came in with his class list.

"Well, the placements are done now! I can hardly wait for the break. My garden is growing like crazy and I have the ladies from the clinic coming to collect the herbs. I also would love to just sit and enjoy the quiet." Anya shared.

"Well, I'm going to lock the building and go for a run." Grace laughed. "Then I'm going to climb into the hot springs for a bit."

"Oh the Hot Springs! That sounds very relaxing." Kyle smiled and Grace rolled her eyes.

"You are going to crash the minute you get home." Anya finished and Kyle nodded.

"You know me so well. I was up late the last few nights working out the last of the parts for the choral group that starts rehearsing tomorrow."

"It's hard to believe the music festival starts in two month." Grace agreed. "I couldn't help but hear some of the girls talk about wanting the solos."

"Hannah and Janice both have a good chance at getting them." Kyle pulled the last of his lunch out of the cupboard and shoved it in the satchel. "That is unless you want one..." Kyle looked at Anya.

"Not this year. I'm doing the children's primary level production, it's my turn, and those five and six year olds are going to make me very busy."

"Hmmm... Unless you want to join me in bed." Kyle leaned in and kissed Anya softly.

"Not in the school." Grace reminded.

"Ok, let's go outside quick." Kyle pulled Anya and she laughed as she let herself be pulled out of the school much like one of her students. The two of them made their way to the edge of the school property and two soon were embraced in a loving embrace that made Anya go week in the knees.

"You and I have been married for three years, and I still feel all the butterflies when you kiss me." Anya admitted as they waved goodbye to Grace and walked hand in hand to their place.

The settlement was a small community only five hundred people lived together, but the research and farming techniques that colonist worked on, helped many other rural settlements in the quadrant and beyond. They were mostly farmers, but the artist side of the community was pretty strong as well. Kyle fit in perfectly and Anya was comfortable as well. Her family had started the colony and transitioned here from earth about fifty years earlier. Their heritage came from a small faith based community of farmers called Mennonites that originated on earth. They had moved far in the hundreds of years since their faith first started, changing with the times, but keeping their basic philosophies of nonviolence, respect for the environment and the strength in community, the three founding and binding beliefs behind their community.

"Are you going to really choose the garden over time with me in bed?" Kyle asked as they walked..

"Kyle, you are exhausted.. You really don't need to be encouraging me to bed, when you haven't seen it yourself for quite some time. When you've had a nap or a good night sleep come find me and we won't necessarily have to make it back to the bedroom." Anya smiled, as they soon saw their small house in the distance.

"Oh…" Kyle sighed and then yawned.

"Off to bed with you sir… I will see you soon." Anya took the book bag off her husband's shoulders and directed him off towards their bedroom when they came into the house. Kyle waved goodnight and barely made it to the bed before Anya could hear soft snoring. Anya went to the closet and changed into her gardening clothes and slipping on a floppy sun hat. Anya collected her garden gloves and tools from the small mud room near the back of their house and headed outside to her large garden, organized much like her ancestors in the past, but full of produce that was growing well and lush. Gardening was very relaxing for Anya and she was soon lost in her work.

"Why am I not surprised to see you out here instead of inside making your dinner?" Anya looked up to see her mother coming up the pathway from their home just over the hill.

"Because this is where I go when I'm looking to unwind. I'd go and prepare dinner, but I think Kyle may sleep through dinner tonight and then it would just be me." Anya admitted as she came out of her garden and noticed that her mother carried with her a small pot of what Anya hoped might be some of her soup.

"I came with leftovers. Since your brother left home I still make too much. I was hoping you'd take it." Johanna brought it to the back porch.

"Just enough for me to eat for dinner!" Anya laughed and went inside for a bowl and piece of bread from her baking the day before. The soup was still warm and Anya sat down on the back step and enjoyed the soup while her mother sat with her.

"You're not going to save any for Kyle?"

"Nah, he'll eat something from the replicator if he wakes up." Anya laughed. It was their replicator food night, but if Anya could manage she tried not to eat from it too much as it made them lazy and not want to prepare food from scratch. Johanna never used it unless an ingredient was needed that she couldn't find at the storehouse or in her own garden.

"How is Jonas anyways? Has he come home to see you at all since he moved out to help Fletcher with the farm on the south side of the colony?

"Jonas is busy being young and trying to help his brothers with the crops. Your father would still be farming if not for his knee pains. He's horrible for getting under foot these days. I want him in his workshop more, but he says he wants to be around me." Johanna sighed.

"Well you can always send him over here, the clinic staff are coming tomorrow to start harvesting the bitter herbs and some of the other plants that are ready to go. I was hoping that some of them will want to go foraging for the wild greens and bark as well. Daed is more than welcome to come and help."

"That is a good idea my love, I think I will highly encourage that." Johanna laughed as looked out on the setting of the sun. It was so hard to believe that they had found this planet, it was so close to Earth, with a wonderful growing season and the environment, the soil was the only difference. It was more a dark blue not black like their ancestors farmed.

"I have something else to share as well." Anya started.

"What?" Johanna asked and looked at her daughter.

"I'm pregnant." Anya whispered. "Almost three months."

"How have you kept this secret?" Johanna smiled and hugged her daughter.

"It's been hard, but Kyle and I decided that we should try and wait. The last pregnancy we told people too soon, and we lost the baby..." Anya shrugged. "Dr. Masters told me yesterday that this pregnancy is much healthier and he doesn't think I will have any problems carrying to term this time. We waited just to be safe, and now I'm telling you..."

"Kyle didn't want to be part of the sharing?" Johanna asked.

"Well, he probably would have been here if he could have stayed awake, but he really needed to sleep." Anya laughed.

"Do I get to tell your father or do you two want too." Johanna asked.

"I think we'll tell him tomorrow if he comes over to help out."

"I am so pleased that you tried again so quickly. I know you two will be great parents." Johanna took the bowl from Anya. "I will now make sure that I make more food for you to eat."

"Maam! I am a very good cook!" Anya argued.

"Yes, of course you are, but I can make extra to just make sure." Anya followed her mother into the house. "No replicator food if possible. All natural food is better." Johanna was very old school and Anya agreed.

"I try my best at making scratch food…" Anya agreed. The dishes went into the dish cleaner and Johanna looked at the time.

"I should probably head back to the house. Your father will be looking for his evening tea and snack."

"Thank you for the visit." Anya hugged her mother again and Johanna took her pot and headed back across the property line as the sun finally started its final descent. She'd be back before it was too dark. Anya went up the stairs and listened to hear Kyle's breathing before she slipped into the shower.

When she cleaned up she pulled a nightgown on over her head and crawled into bed beside Kyle. Kyle sensed her and rolled over to wrap his arms around her.

"How'd your mom take the news?" Kyle asked sleepily.

"Excited as expected... I don't think she'll be able to keep it from Daed. It was probably a good thing that we transmitted with your parents yesterday. The community will know before the end of the day tomorrow."

"Well, I'm glad you told her. I wanted you to tell her weeks ago."

"No, the baby is good now. Three months used to be the telling point years ago and for us."

"According to Peter, the baby is still only the size of a chick egg." Kyle yawned and put his hand down on the Anya's belly.

"Go to sleep Kyle, we will talk in the morning." Anya pulled his hand up and kissed it gently.

Anya woke early the next morning and went into the den. The only room in the house that Anya let the modern technology exist and pulled her tests out of her satchel and went to input the tests into the computer to send out to the federations main education centre. The children's results would be posted in a few days and the teachers would be alerted to the results of the tests in comparison to thousands of other human children in the federation. After she uploaded the results, Anya turned on to check her subspace logs and was happy to hear from her friend Geordie LaForge. She turned on the log and his familiar and friendly face appeared on the screen.

"Anya, I was happy to hear from you the other day. I have no problems talking with and even offering some mentoring to your students. It sounds like they are becoming just as smart as you were that's for sure. Please feel free to give them my name and contact information and I'll follow up with them and help answer their questions.. I was speaking with Dr. Beverly Crusher, she's been looking over the research data that you've been sending. I suspect she will be in touch soon as well, she was buzzing about something that she noted…" Geordie then closed in on the screen with a mischievous grin. " Pregnant Anya? Really? It's taken a long time, but I'm thrilled to hear about this wonderful news and I'm almost tempted to make a special visit to see you… I can't imagine you pregnant and waddling around." Geordie then in his typical way, signed off and his message and the screen went blank.

True to Geordie's comment, the second subspace communication was from her old boss. "Anya, you're most recent collection of data on the growth and development of the roots from the original plant is quite surprising. I suspect that some of the results are based on the soil composition. Would you be will to send another few samples of the soil for me? I would be able to send it through a few more specific tests here on the Enterprise, as I'm aware that you don't have some of that technology on the colony. You can send it on the next off planet communication run." Beverly then too paused. "I know that this is my more medical side getting in the way, but Geordie happened to mention that you were expecting your first child… I am thrilled, and I'm sure that you're prenatal care will be good, but if you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send me questions…" Beverly then smiled and signed off the communication. There were no other messages and Anya stood up and went back into the kitchen. She was going to start her bread and then head back out to her garden for a bit. Although the sky didn't look as perfect as it had the day before. Maybe settling down on the front porch with her tablets might be a way to spend some of her day. Music from the front of house, alerted Anya that Kyle was up and already at his work with the music he planned on presenting at his first rehearsal later that day. Humming to herself as she worked in the kitchen Anya sighed with contentment. If all school breaks could be this peaceful she'd be greatful.


	3. Chapter 3

Anya was already into her 7 month by the time Christmas arrived and her small baby bump was common knowledge. The children had more energy than was needed, but Anya managed to rangal their energy with some work.

"Jacob, I need you to stand closer to Maggie." Anya reminded that the 10 year rolled his eyes and walked closer. "Maggie you need to be able to say your words nice and loudly so Isaac can respond when he needs too."

"I can't say the words any louder Ms. Thatcher. Isaac just doesn't want to listen…"

"I am listening Maggie, you just mumble." Isaac spat back.

"I don't want to hear you all talking like this, I need you to get along or I'm going to have to ask some of the other children to take your spots." Anya warned as she pulled a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at the script in front of her.

"I can try not to mumble." Maggie sighed and completed her words without one problem and then Isaac responded without any difficulties leaving Jacob who normally had no problems surprised and needed prompting to remember what came next. Anya rubbed her hand over her forehead and turned to the rest of the children in the room. "I think maybe we should call practice done now. The sky looks like snow. Let's get our warm clothes on and we will head home now." Anya helped the children with their outer clothes and made sure they had their mittens and hats on and they all had their communicators working that would let their parents know they were on their way home. "Careful walking! The roads are a bit slippery!" Anya warned before watching the last of her charges head out the door. Twenty little people in small groups soon disappeared beyond the crest of the hill. Anya went back towards the auditorium, where she hoped that Kyle was having better luck with his group of people. Anya slipped into the back row and listened quietly while Kyle finished up his rehearsal.

"Hey Anya? Wake up… We can go home now." Kyle shook Anya's shoulder and she startled awake.

"Oh, I didn't think I was that tired." Anya admitted as she looked up into her husband's face. The rest of the group was quickly disappearing out into the evening.

"Maybe you should ask Grace to help out with the kids... Maybe it's too much with you in this condition?"

"I'm pregnant Kyle…"

"I know but, it's a lot with you still teaching so much..."

"I can do it. Anyways Grace will be doing it next year… I would rather not have to do this when I have a baby to look after as well." Anya stood up and stretched her arms above her head and smiled at her husband.

"Maam and Daed will be waiting dinner on us if we don't get out of here." Anya reminded as the two of the walked the distance to Anya's family home. Johanna and Samuel had been having the two over for dinner once a week since they went back to school after the harvest break. Johanna insisted as it gave Anya a break at least once a week from making dinner on school nights.

"Well, we don't want them to wait too long." Kyle nodded and took Anya's mattered hand in his. The air was cool but not cold enough to be uncomfortable and a light dusting of snow was falling twinkling in the lamps that hung along the road they walked. They soon arrived at the large farmstead home and went in through the mud room. Johanna welcomed them with hugs and Anya laughed at something she said as she hugged her and Kyle just shook his head. Dinner was on the table and the four of them sat down to eat. They were just finishing the main dinner and Johanna was pulling a wonderful looking pie from the counter while Anya had removed the kettle to make tea when they heard other voices and thumping of boots in the mud room.

"Oh you are all just in time for Pie!" Samuel greeted Fletcher and his wife Sara and Jonas came in. Sara held onto Parker's small hand and Fletcher carried Jessa while Jonas carried several small packages.

"What are you all doing here?" Anya asked as they unwrapped from their winter clothes and joined everyone around the kitchen table.

"Well, we wanted to share with you some gifts for the baby." Johanna started.

"I finished the cradle." Samuel interrupted and with a small flourish of arms and a small whistle pulled the sheet off the cradle that was hidden in the darken part of the kitchen. Anya's eyes filled with tears as she walked over to the cradle and knelt down to take a closer look.

"Oh! It's perfect." Her father had carved Kyle and Anya's initials into the top part of the cradle and the wood was smooth and shiny. Her mother had made a small base for the cradle and when she turned back to the family Jonas was handing Kyle the packages.

"We wanted to give you these as well before Christmas so things didn't get confused with the gifts then."

"Kyle you open them." Anya encouraged and Kyle opened the packages to show a digital photo album that had been sent by Kyle's family. It contained pictures of both Kyle and Anya as children and then as young adults their wedding photos, pictures of the extended family on both sides and then space to add pictures of the baby when it arrived.

"You talked with my parents?" Kyle asked in surprised.

"Just because they choose to live on a star base, does not make them completely out of my reach." Jonas laughed.

Sara handed Anya another small package and when she opened it she discovered a baby quilt and several handmade blankets.

"You are so talented!" Sarah hugged her sister in law and the children clapped their hands. Both were too young to start school, but Anya new soon enough they'd be there.

"Well with the gifts out of the way, let's have pie!" Fletcher suggested and Johanna went to the cupboard and pulled a second pie out.

"So sneaky!" Anya reminded.

"I know." Johanna laughed. "You will have to learn some of those skills."

"I will learn from the best!" Anya laughed and the family settled in for a time of visiting before they prepared for their way home.

"Do you want a lift? We can circle over to your place." Fletcher asked as they went out into the night. Fletcher had brought his hover cart and the family was getting in.

"No its okay. We're just over the hill, a well-worn path now with Maam coming so often. It's just as fast for us to walk then for you to take the road around the long way." Kyle thanked and they passed each other goodnights and went their opposite ways.

"I just have the worst timing." Geordie's message started. "I wanted to catch you, but obviously you aren't home! I just wanted to let you know that I've been looking through Duncan's work, and I think he has a great chance at getting into Starfleet! His marks are great and from what I've learned from him he's a neat kid. I'm not surprised that he's such a great student. Having you as a teacher would give every kid a running start for sure. Why don't you let me know when a good time is to catch you face to face and I'll try back. I'm curious to see what you look like pregnant." He laughed at his joke and Kyle laughed as he looked at his wife.

"If you don't call in the next few weeks, he might not see you pregnant. I think our dates have been wrong." Kyle turned his wife around to look at him. "You look like you could give Jesus a run for his money for having a Christmas baby."

"Our dates are not wrong. We will have this baby three weeks after Christmas." Anya assured. "I have the science degrees and everything I've reviewed tells me that our dates are right."

The two of them spent the next few days alone in their home, listening to music and Anya had a wonderful conversation with Geordie the next day and she was pretty impressed with how things were going on the Enterprise and Anya sighed with some of the stories about the familiar crew members that were still working on board. They didn't seem to leave their posts. Anya baked some cookies and Kyle entertained them with a selection of Christmas Songs on the piano stopping suddenly when they heard a knock on the door.

"Chrissy what is it?" Anya asked as she came out of the kitchen and saw the young woman standing in the doorway. The young woman was about ten years younger than Anya and had recently been asked to help with the clinic. She had gifts for helping people and worked alongside Dr. Masters and the community that was in need of a new midwife now that Esther had started to talk about retiring.

"Dr. Masters has some unknown origin upper respiratory illnesses that have come to the clinic over the past few days and he was hoping that you'd come to the clinic tomorrow and look over the test results. He was thinking that maybe it's nothing, but I told him I'd stop by and ask you on my way home tonight. I think he's wondering if any of your herbs or natural resources might be able to help ease the symptoms." Chrissy shared and Anya nodded in agreement.

"Absolutely Chrissy, I will be there first thing in the morning." Anya then asked her to stay put and went to collect some cookies. "For you and your parents." Anya placed the plate in her hands. "I made way too many and Kyle will just over eat them if the all stay here."

"Thank you." Chrissy nodded and Anya showed her back outside.

"Are you sure you should be going into the clinic? I don't want you to catch whatever is going around, not so close to your delivery date."

"Oh, Kyle you worry too much. I will be fine." Anya smiled and the two went back to their evening.


	4. Chapter 4

Anya bundled up the next morning and headed out the door towards the clinic just after breakfast. The crisp weather made her breath come out in cold white puffs but the walk felt good as she came down around the bend and the clinic and the store came into sight. Coming in the clinic she was surprised to see Dr. Masters looking so tired.

"Have you been up all night?" Anya asked as she took off her coat and went to join the Dr. in his office.

"I had five more cases come up last night. I was trying to do rounds and check on the families, but the community is spread further apart for one person to be trying to connect with all them in a short period of time." Dr. Masters shard and handed Anya the results. The tests were all over the place, and Anya was unsure what to make of them.

"The virus isn't being transmitted through the air then?" Anya asked as she looked back at the doctor.

"I don't think so, three people in one family are sick but the two looking after them haven't had symptom yet. One child is sick, but the other four are fine but their father has it."

"We don't know the primary case?"

"Everyone I've seen over the past two months have had no symptoms like these and then all of sudden twenty four cases in three days." The doctor shared. "None of my medications appear to be able to resolve any of them symptoms. I'm hoping that this just runs its course and people just get better on their own."

"Chrissy mentioned that you thinking of trying some natural remedies?" Anya asked and Dr. Maters nodded his head and Anya went to the back part of the clinic in which her harvest of supplies were being kept and started to pull things out and got to work with some of the other supplies that were in the jars and other containers. The morning slipped by and it was just before she left Chrissy caught up her.

"Dr. Masters has just received notice that we have another twelve cases in the past few hours. I just wanted to let you know that Dr. Masters has called a meeting of healthy only members of our Community. You are expected at the community centre in an hour." Chrissy was getting ready to go out and as already out of the clinic. As it turned out, nearly every household in the community had at least one person sick by time Dr. Masters started his meeting.

"I share with the rest of the community and Anya bundled up to head home to let Kyle know as Dr. Masters wrealize that this isn't something that we normally think about doing in this day in age, but due to limited resources and so many sick people, I can't get out to see all the people who are sick and still respond to their ever changing needs. I want to convert the community centre into a triage centre. I would like all sick brought here and those that can will help nurse them. I haven't seen anyone that has any symptoms improve yet, and I'm stumped at how this is being transmitted. The only thing I'm sure of is that it's not airborne or all of us would be sick by now. So if we could have volunteer rotations helping to look after the sick I would be greatly appreciative. Dr. Masters looked around the room and his eyes lingered on Anya for a minute. One of the nurses had started a list of things that needed to be done and as Kyle and Anya looked over the list Dr. Masters came to them.

"Maybe Anya you should stay home, away from the sickness." Kyle suggested but one look from Anya, Kyle knew that he had lost the battle before he even tried it. Dr. Masters came over to couple and Anya then asked the question that made her nervous.

"My parents aren't here." Anya started.

"She didn't want to worry you, but your mom has been at Fletcher's place all day with his family. Sara, Fletcher and Jonas are all sick."

"What about Daed?" Anya asked.

"He's ok right now, but he's been watching the kids." Dr. Masters then went on the group. The rest of the early evening was taken with setting up cots and bedding in the community centre. Anya listened as best she could to what Dr. Masters requested from her and tried to stay away from the sick as they started arriving. Yet when her family arrived she couldn't stay away. It was obvious that Johanna was tired out from nursing her family all day, but she looked ok other than that. Anya helped get the others settled and then took the children to the nursery where volunteers had gathered to keep them occupied and now it was turning into a giant sleepover. Anya rested a bit that night, cots set up for those that were helping were set up on the stage and a bit of sleep helped get her going the next day. When she showed up for her shift it was then she realized that every single cot that had been set up was now occupied by someone who was sick. It was well over a hundred people at her count.

"What's wrong?" Anya asked as she looked over at the area where her family was. Dr. Masters shook his head.

"I don't know, but I just caught sight of Kyle and he's looking unwell." Dr. Masters shared and Anya felt her heart drop into her knees.

"Where is he?" Anya asked and Dr. Masters pointed in the direction of the cot that Kyle was laying down on. Anya handed Dr. Masters the coffee that she had just poured him and rushed over to her husband.

"What the heck Kyle? Just starting our work here as helpers and you've had enough?" Anya asked quietly as she ran a cool hand over his feverish brow.

"Don't know... Just felt like I've been hit by a phaser…" Kyle tried to joke and Anya tried to smile although she felt like crying. Anya wasn't sure how the rest of the day went, she went from nursing Kyle to helping with preparing herbs into teas and tinctures to help reduce the fevers. As the day went on children's cries, people's soft groans and coughs filled the room. Anya sat down and tried to drink some tea later that day and rub her stomach. The baby had decided that they were going to work on being a gymnast throughout the day and its foot continued to kick at her.


	5. Chapter 5

"You need to settle down little one." Anya whispered and tried to think positive thoughts for a few minutes as she closed her eyes briefly.

"Anya…" Anya opened her eyes, her neck held a slight crick in it.

"What?"

"Laura and Jessop have just died." Chrissy whispered. Laura was only ten while Jessop was close to fifty.

"We need more help." Anya sighed. "Have we put out a distress call?"

"I don't know." Chrissy looked like she was going to cry.

"I'm going to see what Dr. Masters wants to do." Anya hugged the young girl and told her sit down.

"Roger, do we want to call for more help?"

"I've been tossing it around for the past few hours. I think we should, I haven't been able to get back to the clinic to send a subspace alert."

"Maybe I could send Duncan." Anya tried to see where the boy could be and saw he was over with some of the healthy children at the far end of the room.

"Ok." Dr. Masters looked worn out. The past five days had been more than he could manage and help was needed. Anya made her way over towards Duncan and told him what needed to be done.

"Ms. Thatcher, I will go, but I just want you know that a storm has settled in and it could take while for me to get there." Duncan informed and Anya nodded her head.

"Keep your communicator open, and we'll monitor you from here. If you have any problems you know that your communicator will at least get you back to the centre." Anya looked seriously at Duncan. "This is very important Duncan, I wouldn't ask anyone else here to do this, and you are filled with Starfleet potential that I know you will get this." Anya helped Duncan collect the warm clothes he needed and help set the communicator to help point him in the direction of the clinic and then back to the centre.

"How are you able to do all this stuff so easily." Duncan asked as Anya pinned the communicator onto his outer jacket.

"Well, Duncan, it's a long story and when you come back and people are starting to feel better I promise you that I will tell you." Anya nodded and showed Duncan to the door, the wind was strong and the cold was noted in the swirling snow. Duncan hunkered down in the jacket and launched out on his mission. Anya went back to Kyle and the rest of her family, Kyle's face was gray when she came back, but it was her brother Jonas that she was more worried for. His lips were a terrifying colour blue and Anya new that he wasn't getting enough oxygen.

"Duncan has been sent to send a message of distress. Hopefully we have some starships in the area that can respond quickly." Anya whispered to her mother who also looked worn out. She suspected everyone was starting to look the same way. She was tired too, but somehow she had kicked into her past roles and was surprised with how fast the training she had received had returned. They tried to prop Jonas up better to help with air flow, but Anya wasn't sure he would make the night if they didn't get any help soon.

Duncan was gone for a long time, Dr. Masters came to Anya a while later. "Do you think he got turned around in the night and the storm?"

"I don't think so… The readings I'm getting from his communicator isn't showing him wandering from the route. I think that the weather is slowing him down. He's a good boy Roger, he'll be back as soon as he can." Anya had been monitoring Duncan's progress, slow and steady.

"Dr. Masters! Anya!" Johanna cried out and the two of them went towards her family. Jonas had stopped breathing and all the resources that Dr. Masters had in his arsenal of medical supplies couldn't bring him back. Johanna cried in grief as she buried her head in her son's chest. Samuel held onto his wife and whispered some words of comfort and he grieved with her.

Anya felt her heart start to break and she would have broken into tears as well had it not only been the same moment in which Duncan stumbled back into the centre, covered with snow and looking colder than a snow person. Several people rushed to help Duncan into the building and pulled his wet and cold clothes off and throw warm blankets on him and rubbed at his feet and hands, something this community understood was the cold and how to keep frostbite at bay.

"Ms. Thatcher I did it... I connected the clinic to the distress call. It didn't take me long to figure it out, but it was the walk there and back that felt like it would never end." Duncan chattered out and Anya nodded and smiled encouragement.

"I'm very proud of you Duncan. You accomplished something that wasn't very easy and you rose the challenge. I'm sure when things improve around here, I will make sure we send a notice to your entrance forms to add this important role you played during this horrible time." Anya praised. As she completed that, she felt a strong pain emanate from her abdomen, it caused her pause.

"Are you alright?" Chrissy asked as she saw what had happened.

"Oh this baby just decided to use my insides for a play yard." Anya tried to brush off. "I'm ok." Anya took a deep breath and smiled.

"Dr. Masters just told me what happened to Jonas, maybe you've been through enough today. I think maybe resting would be a good idea for you too." Chrissy suggested.

"Maybe I will go back to Kyle and my family." Anya agreed. There was nothing else that could be done until help arrived.

"When do I get to hear the entire story?" Duncan asked as Anya turned to leave.

"I promise soon." Anya allowed and she went back to her family. Anya sat down on the chair beside Kyle and he opened his eyes as she sat down.

"You still aren't sick?" Kyle managed.

"Not yet, don't think I'm going to get it either." Anya shared. "You just rest. Help is coming, we should have some new resources soon." Anya tried to encourage bravely and she sat quietly and waited.


	6. Chapter 6

"Anya?" Anya stirred, but didn't open her eyes. The voice calling her was familiar but it wasn't one that she heard on a daily basis. She figured she was dreaming as she heard her name being called again. When she felt a small shake and someone calling, "Lieutenant Commander Thatcher, can you hear me?" Anya opened her eyes and startled awake and nearly fell off the chair she was on. Strong arms caught her before she fell.

"Geordie?" Anya asked unsure if who she saw near here was a dream or reality.

"In the flesh..."

"What are you doing here?" Anya asked as she looked around and saw about twenty blue uniformed officers floating around the room, with people being beamed away.

"The Enterprise was the closest starship able to respond to your distress call. When Captain Picard realized the connection with Bruderholf 2541, he allowed me to join one of the away teams." Geordie shared as he helped Anya stand up she looked around to find Kyle.

"Where did Kyle go?" Anya asked.

"We beamed the sickest of the group up first, everyone who was hear in the centre has now been moved to the Enterprise. You're next, if you want to go."

"I do..." Anya started to stand up but another familiar pain caused her to squeeze hold of Geordie's hand and pause.

"Was that what I think it was?" Geordie asked as he watched Anya.

"I hope not, the baby isn't due for another few weeks… Yet I've been having contractions since last night." Anya shared.

"Let's get you to sick bay and we can figure out what's going on." Geordie suggested and connected with the ship and the two were beamed aboard. As the Enterprise came into focus Anya had another contraction on the transporter platform, but insisted on walking to sickbay with Geordie instead of beaming there directly.

"Anya It's been too long since we've seen each other." Nurse Channing greeted as they came into Sickbay, "I wish it was under different circumstances."

"I need to find out how my family is doing…" Anya started and then had another contraction. She held onto her stomach. "Dr. Crusher is just coming from the med bay, she'll have some updates and then maybe help you have this baby." Channing offered another set of hands to keep Anya moving.

"It's too early." Anya started as she was helped to an examining table.

"Well, according to this scan your body is transitioning normally in labour and the baby is healthy and positioned to be delivered." Dr. Crusher greeted as she came around the corner looking at the scans as she said this.

"My daughter… How are you?" Johanna came close behind Dr. Crusher and Anya nearly cried with relief when she saw her mother.

"Having a baby. How is Kyle?" Anya asked and tried to read her mother's face.

"He is unconscious right now, but the medical staff on board this ship are being very attentive." Johanna shared and Anya closed her eyes. Beverly Crusher looked over at Geordie who hung back.

"I think Kyle wouldn't mind if Anya's good friend stepped in to help with some moral support."

"I think that is a great idea." Johanna agreed and took hold of Geordie's hand as he came closer. "It has been too long since we have seen you." Johanna started.

"Too long." Geordie agreed. Anya had another contraction during the reunion and drew their attention back. Beverly Crusher encouraged Anya to focus and tried to make light talk during the pauses. It had been over four years since she had seen Anya, and the woman although in active labour and exhausted from the ordeal her colony had been going through looked well, her choices had been well made.

"Dr. Crusher," During a pause in the contractions one of the nurses approached with a chart and Anya automatically questioned.

"What's happening?" Anya asked. "Is it Kyle?"

"Anya, we can only do so much. We have been able to diagnosis the transmission points of the virus, but for some the virus ran its course without any complications, but for others we are unsure what happened." Beverly started and Anya interrupted.

"He will live until this child is born…" Anya assured. "He needs to see this baby."

"Have Kyle moved to an isolation room here in Sick Bay." Beverly ordered and returned back to Anya who was naturally baring down to push the baby out. Anya grabbed Geordie's hand and held back a scream wanting to make sure she focused on delivering this baby.

"It's a girl." Johanna announced as a small child with a healthy cry arrived into the universere. With a small cleanup and a quick scan the baby was given to Anya to hold. "She's beautiful." Johanna cried, tears streaming down her face.

"I need to show Kyle the baby…" Anya already had started to get up.

"Whoa… We've come a long way with childbirth and safety, but I do no recommend you get up for another little bit."

"I need to see Kyle, I can't let him be by himself."

"Samuel is with him. I promise you will get to him as soon as it's safe." Beverly allowed. Anya held onto the baby and watched her baby fall asleep in her arms, and felt such a mixture of feelings she was unsure. An hour later, with the help of her mother and Geordie, they walked her to where they had placed Kyle. Anya felt week in the knees as she was helped to a chair beside Kyle. Kyle was nearly gone, his skin was nearly purple, but he opened his eyes when he heard the baby cry.

"Kyle, my beloved... I'd like to introduce you to our child. She is perfect and so beautiful." Anya carefully undid Kyle's shirt, and gently placed newborn directly onto his chest. She pulled his weekend arms up to hold the baby and took his hand and gently wrapped the newborns hand around his finger and then covered it with hers so the family became completely united for the first and the last time... "We shall name her Carina, as her name means beloved and always loved. She will always know that she was wanted and loved from the moment of creation, and one day she will meet you in paradise." Anya whispered and Kyle gave the hand he held in Anya's a squeeze and then without much more he slipped away. Anya heard her mother start to cry and her father once again in the moment started to recite the familiar psalm...

Geordie, Beverly and a few other medical staff stood a respectful distance, but the moment they just shared was etched forever on their hearts. Anya's strength, and love for her husband and the new child was so strong it was felt by everyone.

Anya sat until the baby woke up and started to cry for something to eat. She removed her from Kyle and went to stand. Beverly had hovered near by and when she heard the baby cry she came to see if Anya was alright, so she wasn't surprised to have Anya collapse as she tried to walk away.

"I need some help here!" Beverly cried and turned back to Anya, "You need some rest, and you've had a lot happen in a very short time." Beverly advised and Anya was too weak to argue. Anya's blood pressure had dropped considerably and she fell asleep almost as soon as she helped to a bed. Beverly handed the baby off to a nurse who nursed the baby until she too fell back asleep. It was at that point that Deanna and the Captain arrived for an update.

"Anya is exhausted, and her medical status is stable. The baby is perfectly healthy, I just wish I could say the same for the colonists."

"When the Lieutenant Commander left her post here on the Enterprise to return back to her home colony to teach and continue her research, I didn't think I would have found her in this situation." Picard admitted as they sat down in Beverly's office.

"She doesn't even go by her rank right now on the colony. She's known as Ms. Thatcher to her students and just Anya to the rest of the community. Dr. Masters and few of the colonies elders are the only ones know about her past," Beverly shared.

"Such a brilliant member of Starfleet. She had such a promising career. Some of the academy ranks still expect her to return to work." Picard shared. "I am so sorry for her tragic losses."

"I have to admit that this virus was such a challenge to locate the cure. It took almost forty of their people before we could create an antidote, yet we are still unsure what the original contact point is." Beverly sighed. "Some were bouncing back without any treatment while others needed the complete course, while others didn't respond to it all. So strange."

"Anya's husband was one of them..." Deanna confirmed.

"Yes, and her youngest brother as well. He had already died before we arrived." Beverly took a deep breath. "As long as it's not going to impact our work, I would like to keep all the colonist that have been sick here on the Enterprise for a few more days. Anya should stay as well, I'm not sure she has even started to deal with the events that have just happened."

"Any of the colonists who wish to stay on board are more than welcome. We can remain in orbit for a week at least." Picard nodded. Beverly looked at Deanna.

"When she's a bit stronger, maybe you might want to come back."

"Just let me know when she's been discharged to a cabin and I will make a visit. I do sense a lot of mixed emotions from her already." Deanna nodded and the two senior officers left without any more disruption.


	7. Chapter 7

Anya rocked Carina in the cradle her father had sent to her from her home on the planet and while she felt much stronger physically, her heart ached and yet felt more alive than ever with the realization that she was now a mother to this magnificent being. Under recommendations from Beverly she had accepted a cabin for a few days so she could be monitored for her post-delivery care. Anya was very aware that the doctor had provided the space for them for more than that singular reason, but the thought of returning back to the colony at the moment didn't appeal to her. Kyle would be in every corner of that house… Anya felt her throat constrict and her breathing became shallow and she took a deep shuddering breath. A beep at the door alerted her to a visitor.

"Please come in!" Anya called out and the door opened and Deanna walked in.

"Counselor Troi! I would say that I was surprised to see you, but really I'm not." Anya greeted and the two women hugged in a comfortable way. "I don't suspect that you're here for a refresher in astrophysics are you?" Anya asked to start the conversation.

Deanna smiled and looked seriously into Anya's eyes. Deanna had sought Anya out while she studied for her senior bridge tests to help her figure out her gain a stronger understanding of astrophysics, and although Deanna held skills in so many areas, she had been been hopeless, but Anya had worked her hardest and Deanna had managed to get through.

"I don't find I need it all that much, but I do remember some of it." Deanna admitted and with Anya's nod welcomed Deanna to come and look in on the baby.

"She's beautiful." Deanna sighed as she saw the perfect child resting quietly.

"Yes, she's gorgeous. So wanted, and waited for." Deanna looked at the child and felt nothing but calmness from her. Anya on the other hand was very guarded, and Deanna wasn't surprised at all. Anya had always managed to control her emotions when she was on edge.

"You aren't here to see Carina are you?"

"No, you've been through a lot… I just wanted to make sure you getting the support you need."

"I don't even know what support I do need." Anya shared.

"Well, what do you think you need?" Deanna asked as she sat down on the couch so she was able to see both the sleeping baby and the distressed mother.

"I don't know…" Anya started. "I feel all jumbly inside, not one emotion is stronger than the other they are all strong... I just can't seem to even figure out what I should be feeling. I have so much sadness, and so much happiness at Carina. I miss Kyle horribly, I have lost some of my students, and other community members that their places in my life will be empty without them. Although most of my family and the crew here on the Enterprise are all trying to be helpful. I shouldn't feel lonely, but I do…" Anya sighed and looked out the window at the stars. "I forgot at how calming these stars are too. Now that I have returned to the Enterprise, the longing I have to return to this life has returned as well. Yet, I know I'm needed at home."

"You chose to return home after you met Kyle didn't you?"

"Kyle wanted to live on a planet. He had never been given that opportunity growing up. Returning back to my own colony made the most sense since we were needed as teachers and Kyle's musical talents would be encouraged and befitted. Now with Kyle gone, I'm not sure if I would be needed as much, science isn't as important, plus we have interesting thoughts on motherhood and not working..." Anya sighed.

"You wouldn't be teaching with Carina now?" Deanna asked. She understood that in the past mothers stayed home and nurtured their children and didn't work until they were older, but a lot of those philosophies had changed over the years, and shifts and working habits had changed to help parents work as well as be there for their children, it was part of the reason Starfleet had built the Enterprise the way they did.

"I'd be encouraged to remain home for at least a year and be there for Carina. Before Kyle… It wasn't such a bad thought. I was going to work on my research and finish my publications while I stayed home and Kyle continued to teach. Now… I could still do that… Yet the house we have is filled with memories of Kyle..." Anya looked back to Deanna her eyes finally filled with tears that had remained locked up for days. "I just miss him so much already… I don't know if could live in a place that would remind me of everything that I've lost!" Anya sat quickly down onto the chair near her and buried her face in her hands and started to sob. Deanna was relieved that she had cracked while she was still with her. Deanna moved to be closer to her and held her while she mourned the loss of her husband. A few hours later, Anya still very fragile but less unstable said goodbye to Deanna and turned back to looking after her newborn.

"Come in!" Anya was still sitting with the tea she had made cold in her hands when the door rang again. She was pleased to see Geordie and Duncan as well was with him.

"Why I wasn't expecting to see both of you today!" Anya welcomed.

"Commander LaForge has been very accommodating with me today Ms. Thatcher. He's given me a tour of several areas on the ship and looked over my application for Starfleet. He has also given me a few pointers to make is stand out with the admissions department." Duncan paused for a minute before continuing. "I was hoping that maybe you could tell me your story."

"I suppose you deserve it…" Anya went and encouraged them to sit down.

"So, you and Commander LaForge met on Earth?" Duncan asked.

"Well, yes…" Anya started. "Duncan, you don't know this because it wasn't all the important to many people on the planet. The reason I know Geordie so well is that I am a Starfleet Officer." Anya shared.

"I'm confused. You've been teaching since you came home. Your parents always said that you were doing research on Earth before you came home."

"Well I was on Earth for several years studying and then I applied to Starfleet and was accepted. When I finished all my training on Earth I took a position on a science vessel called the USS Drake... When the Drake was damaged during a mission, I was transferred to a Star base where I continued to work until my next assignment. Which was to the Enterprise. I worked with all these people that you've met over the past few days. I worked in the Astrophysics Lab, the Botany Lab, and was even assigned to engineering on several occasions." Anya shared.

"Then why did you come home?"

"I met Kyle..." Anya shared. "He was trying his hand at teaching here on the Enterprise actually when we first met. It wasn't quite his thing, but we had met by that time and fallen in love. Then when the elders sent out a request for teachers on Bruderholf, Kyle and I talked it over and decided to return together and teach."

"Yet you were happy here on the Enterprise?" Duncan asked with surprise.

"Yes, I was." Anya admitted. "Yet, I was very happy with Kyle and starting our lives together on Bruderholf was very appealing as well.

"So when you said that you had resources, and new when the last person to apply to Starfleet you weren't kidding because it was you."

"Yes, I have been the only one so far that I know for sure. A few others have tried, but they dropped out or started to pursue other things. Although I'm very sure that this choice you are making is a good one, and I believe that you will be very successful." Anya encouraged.

"I am too..." Duncan agreed and Anya smiled sadly. "What are you going to do now?"**

"You my insightful friend, have just asked the questions of the day." Anya sighed again.

"Are you thinking of coming back?" Geordie asked as he finally put the pieces together.

"I have an appointment with Captain Picard tomorrow morning." Anya nodded.

"What about the Bruderholf? You'd leave just like that?" Duncan asked.

"I wouldn't be teaching for a year Duncan, you know the rules. I've been thinking that maybe I will spend my leave here on the Enterprise, and see how things go. I have to talk with some people first so please this is all to be kept quiet." Anya reminded and Duncan nodded.

"I will keep it quiet until you are ready to share it publicly." Duncan shared and Anya smiled with appreciation.


	8. Chapter 8

"We would be more than pleased to reinstate you to your position." Captain Picard treaded softly knowing that Anya was still quite fragile, but the academic side of him was doing cartwheels at the thought of Anya returning and running the labs as well as producing her research. "I don't want you to rush into anything though. You've been through so much in the past little while."

"I know my parents will be disappointed, but my mother will respect me for what I am choosing to do. My father was always happy for me to be home, but he was the one that encouraged me to leave in the first place." Anya paused for a moment and looked out the window. "My ancestors, the ones that first became Brethren, they were very forward thinking in their beliefs that people should come to their own understanding of their faith and not be told what it is from birth. They were persecuted for their beliefs and actions, then somewhere along the way some of them got caught up with remaining in the World and not of the World our history shares that some could be seen still using horse and buggy until well into the 21st century. Yet at the same time, more continued to grow and change and move with the thoughts of sustaining their beliefs and yet being part of the world and becoming Salt and Light instead. They maintained the principle beliefs of conflict resolution over violence, social justice and sustainable living by using technology to help them. Then about 50 years ago, the colony was formed and the colonist didn't go backwards to the very old beliefs exactly, but they surely got stuck. I was the first one to look further than our farm land and arts… I chose to pursue science and that took be away from the colony and back to earth, were I found people with my same heritage working in Starfleet. The colonists continued to believe the basic foundations of our faith, yet they embraced the challenges of other things. I tried to come home and share my lessons, they appreciated my abilities to teach and they embraced Kyle fit the mold, my community isn't ready for me yet. They love me and support me, but they don't understand me." Anya let a tear escape from her eye before she brushed it away. "Kyle was happy there, and I was happy with Kyle. Kyle is gone now… I know it seems like I'm moving too fast, but somehow coming back here is like coming home as well."

"Anya, I appreciate your honesty. I will send the subspace notification to Starfleet and you should be ready to report for duty before we leave. Orbit."

"Then I need to go and prepare my family." Anya nodded and stood to leave. "Thank you." Anya finished before she left and Captain Picard sat back down at his desk. Something about that woman caused Jean Luc to pause and he wasn't quite sure what it was.

"You will be missed." Johanna hugged her daughter. "You will keep us updated daily of Carina's progress."

"Absolutely," Anya agreed. She knew that her family would miss her, but they had each other and the greater community to help with. Anya didn't feel like she was escaping the colony, while they grieved the loss of those members, but at the same time the greater community understood why Anya was leaving.

"You've taken everything that you need. How are you going to manage on only replicated food?" Samuel asked as he joked with her.

"Somehow I will manage. If there is a way to produce some food without the replicator I will try." Anya assured.

"You are going to meet with Kyle's family in a few weeks?" Fletcher asked as he hugged his sister. His strength had slowly started to come back, but it was a good thing that the growing season was still several months off. He would need it to recuperate.

"Yes, George and Karen are now on Star Base 2374 and the Enterprise will be docking there in two weeks for some crew changes." Anya shared. "You will keep me posted on the children as well. Carina's cousins will be a part of her life and we will come and visit as soon as I get leave."

"We know." Johanna agreed.

"You and the clinic staff will maintain the garden?" Anya made sure when she caught up with Dr. Masters.

"We plan on changing your home into an external centre for the clinic, the gardens will be well looked after."

"I'm glad," Anya nodded and hugged Chrissy. "You go and take your studies. I know you will be a great nurse."

"I plan to be. I'm going to study midwifery as well."

"Good..." When Anya got to the end of line of people, Duncan stood looking a little sad.

"You will be getting your notices in a few months Duncan, when you do I want to know so subspace me a message right away."

"Maybe we will work together in the future." Duncan suggested and Anya agreed.

"You follow your heart." Anya shared wisely and Duncan nodded. When she got back to her mother she collected Carina from her and smiled. As she was now dressed in her Starfleet uniform, she tapped the communicator and announced that she was ready to beam aboard. With the group waving goodbye Anya returned to the starship.


	9. Chapter 9

"So, back for good?" Geordie asked as he met her in the transporter room.

"For now." Anya nodded and handed Carina carefully over to her friend. She collected the few other items she was beamed up with and they both headed for her newly assigned quarters.

Anya smiled as she watched Geordie talk to Carina and the baby's eyes tracked the visor with interest.

"I think she smiled at me." Geordie gasped.

"She's two weeks old Geordie, she isn't smiling yet." Anya reminded but was touched that he seemed so interested in the baby she needed her daughter to have strong men in her life that would help show her that although she would be raised as a strong and independent woman, there were important places for men to be in her life.

Anya was very comfortable with leaving Carina with Geordie already in the short time she'd been back on the Enterprise Geordie had made it a point to come by every day and check in on them and spend time with them. It made the transition go so much more smoothly and welcoming.

Anya had met with the nursery staff that she would leave Carina with when she went back to her shifts, it made her comfortable to know that her baby would only be a few decks away at any time they were separated. In the meantime Anya had tried to create a small nursery for Carina in their quarters. The cradle and other gifts adorned her room, and now a picture of Kyle and Anya sat at a prominent place in the child's room so she will know what her father looked like. Anya had also kept a few of Kyle's things and had placed them carefully around the room.

"What is this?" Geordie asked as he came across a small box that was unopened.

"It's a gift for Carina from Kyle." Anya paled when she saw it. "I can't open it right now." Tears filled her eyes and Geordie put the box carefully on a shelf in the main room and turned back to his friend. He hugged her tightly and let her have a moment of grief.

"It just comes like these unexpected waves." Anya admitted as she brushed the tears away.

"I completely understand." Geordie smiled and turned to leave. "I need to report for duty. I can come by afterwards and maybe we could have dinner."

"I'd like that." Anya smiled and bid her friend goodbye. She settled down with some of her work and tried to re orientate herself to the work.

The baby cried, and Anya went to her. The fussing was normal, and it wasn't long before she found herself nursing the baby naturally holding her so when the door chimed Anya slipped a blanket over the baby and covered herself modestly before calling the door open.

"I wanted to come and see how things were going." Deanna greeted as she came in. "I know we didn't have an appointment, but I felt like I just needed to see you."

"I'm doing well. It's not been long, but I hope to be back on shift by weeks end. Even if they are only half shifts for the next little while. I don't think I could go very long between feedings right now." Anya admitted.

"You are choosing to naturally feed Carina?" Deanna hadn't much experience with motherhood, but most new mothers chose to bottle feed their children from her experience.

"I know that I don't believe with a lot of the old ways, but I feel that Carina has had part of her young life changed with Kyle's passing that I don't want to wean her too soon. Plus there is something very comforting having her at my breast. I don't know why women wouldn't want to do it." Anya admitted. "You spoke with Geordie today didn't you?" Anya asked.

"Well…" Deanna paused. "How'd you know?"

"I don't think the ships counselor would be that interested in how a new mother feeds her child." Anya shared wisely. "I guessed maybe Geordie shared with you that he witnessed another one of my 'moments' with me today."

"You mentioned that you shared that your grief comes to you in waves." Deanna encouraged.

"Yes,"

"Sometimes new mothers also experience some post-partum issues as well." Deanna shared.

"I am aware…" Anya admitted. "Beverly… I mean Doctor Crusher did talk to me about the potential for PPD. She offered some medication options if I felt I needed them. I just don't know where I am some days, I would suspect that I am depressed who in my situation wouldn't be? I'm sleep deprived for sure and I haven't dealt with everything related to Kyles unexpected and quick passing.. I realize that I have issues to deal with, but…"

"All in time." Deanna finished her sentence.

"All in time." Anya repeated. Carina had fallen asleep eating and Anya repositioned herself and brought the baby out from under the blanket. The child was flushed slightly, but her breathing was calm and slow. Holding the sleeping infant caused Anya to relax and she smiled down at the small person.

"She is wonderful." Anya sighed and Deanna smiled. The sadness that Anya was experiences was normal mourning. The feelings she felt towards her daughter was normal and already strong with the parental bond growing. "Would you like to hold her?"

"Absolutely..." Deanna admitted. Babies on the Enterprise did happen, but not very frequently so taking the baby was a treat. Carina was fast asleep, her small body breathing gently while Deanna held the child in her arms. Anya sat and watched. Deanna was someone in which she felt that she'd be spending more time with than she was planning on.


	10. Chapter 10

"So Anya, she looks great." Beverly cooed as she snapped the last of the child's jumper back together and handed the now thriving four month year old back to her mother.

"She's a wonderful child." Anya agreed. Anya had settled into life back on the starship as if she had never left. Sometimes while she was on her shifts, it was like her life never had changed, but then she would remember Carina or look at the picture of Kyle on her desk in her lab and realize that things had changed.

"You continue to breast feed her?" Beverly inquired as Anya prepared to leave.

"Yes," Anya nodded and followed Beverly into her office as Beverly asked.

"Ensign Johnston is just about ready to give birth. She's been doing a lot of research about parenting and what to expect. Since the only other mother with an infant on board right now is Lieutenant Spencer's wife and she's Peceptinarian and they don't feed their offspring their own breast milk I was wondering if you felt comfortable talking with Lonnie about how you feel about breast feeding." Beverly asked and Anya nodded her head.

"I will gladly talk with her." Anya agreed and moved Carina onto her shoulder to pat her back just as they heard a door swish open behind them.

"Captain Picard? What brings you to sick bay?" Beverly asked as she stood up and Anya also started to stand. Jean Luc waved them both to sit down again. "I was just on my way to Ten Forward and thought I'd stop by and see if you were free to join me, but as I can see I interrupted…"

"You didn't interrupt anything important. We were just finishing up…" Anya quickly returned and she started to stand up again.

"This is your child?" Jean Luc asked suddenly more interested in the smiling child that sat comfortably in her mother's arms than his normal attitude towards children usually was.

"Yes, this is Carina. We were just having our four month checkup."

"It's been four months already?" Jean Luc asked in surprise.

"Yes." Anya nodded.

"I've read your research that you submitted a few weeks back. Very well presented, I'm sure your findings will be useful for those at Starfleet Medical." Jean Luc noted and Beverly nodded in agreement.

"I almost forgot to tell you that as well. Excellent findings." Beverly shared. "I was going to ask what you did to find those results, as I've tried to grow the Hysopic Balm several times and have had never gotten those results before. I thought perhaps it was related to the gravitational pull of the planets related to the sun's distance.." Beverly started and then paused as she looked between both Anya and the Captain.

"Thank you, I continue to put more information together from my research I did while I was on Bruderholf." Just as Anya tried to leave Carina turned around to look at Jean Luc and smiled brightly at the older man. Jean Luc was a little taken back but suddenly felt the urge to smile back. "She's in a good mood. Did you want to hold her?" Anya asked boldly not sure if the man would be interested. Jean Luc held out of his hands and the baby went to him without any hesitation. "She trusts you..." Anya shared wisely.

Jean Luc held the baby and Carina put her hands to touch the captain's face. Not sure quite what to do, Jean Luc let the child feel around and naturally blew onto the baby's hand as Carina tried to put her fingers into his mouth and the baby smiled. Both women just watched for what felt like a long time before Carina tired of the captain and turned her attention back to her mother.

"I will let the two of you go. I need to put Carina down for a nap." Anya graciously made her exit from the office.

"You looked very comfortable holding onto that baby." Beverly commented as they left her office together.

"I'm not all that comfortable with babies, but there is something about Anya that I find very remarkable and her little one has already started to develop very similar qualities. Remarkable really." Jean Luc shrugged and then turned his attention to Beverly and didn't speak of the interaction again the rest of the time they were together.


	11. Chapter 11

"I thought I'd find you here." Geordie greeted as he came into the arboretum. Anya sat with a tablet on her lap while Carina played on her tummy on a blanket on the grass. Anya was dressed down out of uniform her hair down completely resting on her back and held back with a few small clips

"I know that I took Carina away from a planet full of real green life and true sunlight to work among the stars again, but I feel I owe it to her to bring her here regularly so she can learn what it is. She does have centuries of farming in her blood and if she wished to return to that way of living in the future I want her to be ready. Kyle had such challenges when we first arrived home it was almost comical, yet pathetic at the same time." Anya put the tablet down as her friend joined her on the grass.

"I like to come here and think too. I like it because the grass is real and so are the plants and the trees. The holodecks can make it appear like it's all real but it's just computer generated" Geordie agreed and picked up one of Carina's toys and looked at it.

"I'm having a hard time concentrating today." Anya whispered and Geordie looked over at his friend. "Carina is six months today. "

"That means that Kyle has been gone for six months as well." Geordie acknowledged

"Is it always going to be bitter sweet to enjoy Carina's milestones and at the same time mourn the loss of my husband?" Anya sighed.

"I don't know. I would hope with time that things would get easier."

"I hope so too..." Anya sighed again and wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

"So, maybe to celebrate Cari's six month milestone, you might like to join me on Ten Forward for dinner." Geordie offered. "Apparently babies are welcomed between 20:00hrs and 22:00hrs."

"Oh, you are a tease." Anya smiled and bent down to pick up her daughter. "We would be delighted to join you wouldn't we my love?" Anya asked as she sat her daughter up and the baby was a little wobbly but sat on her own for a few moments before tipping into her mother. Carina giggled in delight as Geordie took the child and Anya collected the few things they had brought with them. "Let's just stop at my cabin so I can put these things away." Anya offered and the two left. They arrived a short time later to Ten Forward and found a spot facing the stars. They ordered a quick dinner and Anya pulled out a few things to feed her daughter.

"What's on the menu tonight?" Geordie asked as Anya opened a few containers to feed Carina.

"Some cereal of course, and then we are trying some peaches tonight." Anya announced with excitement and with a sly smile afterwards. "Then a top up of milk, we might have to leave for that part." Geordie only nodded, Anya was always very discreet with her feeding of Carina, something he felt she didn't need to worry about, but he respected her for her beliefs. The baby ate well and then socialized with everyone around her while Anya and Geordie ate dinner. They were just finishing the last of their meal when Data and Commander Riker walked over.

"Well had we known you two were going to be here, we would have waited on dinner?" Geordie offered as they offered them a few seats around the table.

"I require no food Geordie, we have had this conversations many times." Data started and Riker laughed at the familiar banter of the two friends.

"Captain Picard highlighted your most recent findings in your research at his briefing this morning." Riker shared and Anya looked surprised.

"I wasn't sure anyone was paying any attention to the work yet. I'm just finding some preliminary data, I thought it was interesting, but I wasn't expecting anyone to be reading any of my reports." Anya responded in surprise and Riker shrugged his shoulders.

"Must be something, Captain Picard only reads the reports that he thinks are important during briefing" Riker responded and Carina squawked turning the adults attention back to her. Riker calmly took the baby out of her chair and went to hold her up so she could practice her leg strength. "You my lovely one, are quite the drama queen." Riker laughed as the child smiled and then made a noise with her lips. The group laughed at her antics and with the laughter, Carina proceeded to show off her entire attention grabbing skills. Data watched the child for quite some time before he made a comment about the similarities of children and his cat Spot. This comment caused a huge laugh from Riker, in return startling the baby and she let out a shriek.

"Whatever you need to make it real." Anya laughed and took the now crying child. "I should go, its past Carina's bed time and she's getting cranky."

"I can walk you back to your cabin." Geordie offered and Anya waved him away.

"No, you continue to enjoy your time. I'm just going to go to bed too." Anya took the child out of Ten Forward before she made more of scene. "Shhhhh…" Anya cooed as she waited for the turbo lift to arrive and the child settled some as the familiarity of Anya's body and her soft touch continued. The baby rubbed her eyes and Anya new she was tired and needed to go to sleep. She stepped onto the turbo lift when it arrived and was surprised to find Captain Picard on it.

"Lieutenant Thatcher!" Captain Picard greeted with surprise and Anya swayed with the child in her arms to keep the child from crying again, something that would be uncomfortable in the small space.

"Captain Picard. We appear to meet each other in the most unusual places." Anya started.

"I agree. I was intrigued by your study on the planet formation of the Othello quadrant. I spent some time doing a dig on Kinzia IV a number of years ago. I didn't realize that the commonality of creation pull was similar to those of the Alpha Quadrant." Picard started and Anya smiled as she had at least a small heads up from . Riker had mentioned that he brought something to the meeting, but Anya new Picard had read all her work so far.

"Yes, its quite surprising, Although I plan on spending my time looking at the alignment of the stars and the production of certain gasses next, I did spend a little time looking at the history of the people and the artifacts from the most recent dig.. Quite enlightening…" Anya shared. "They are appearing to follow a very similar pattern of development to that of Earth." Anya's eyes sparkled with excitement as she shared her information with the Captain and before she realized the turbo lift stopped on her deck and she turned to go.

"I look forward to learning more…" Picard finished as Anya turned to go.

"I'm pleased to learn that you are interested." Anya returned and then nodded her head as she turned to go. Carina cried out again and Anya responded to her to needs as she walked her down the hallway back to their cabin. Changing her child into a sleeper, Anya fed her daughter and rocked her to sleep like she normally did every night, staring for a few moment at the stars and then at the box that still sat unopened on Carina's shelf. Her mother would say she was spoiling her daughter by rocking her to sleep, but it was the time in which she felt most connected with Carina and Kyle. How did one spoil a six month old baby, Anya reasoned as she lay the now sleeping baby into her crib and Anya prepared for bed as well.


	12. Chapter 12

Anya awoke to a sound that she wasn't used too.. It wasn't a cry, more like a choking sound.. Anya bolted out of bed and rushed to Carina, who when she leaned over the crib was obviously struggling to breath. Anya scooped the child up, who was warm in her arms and left the cabin at a run. Something was wrong with her child. She didn't remember how she made it to Sickbay but after she arrived.

"I need to see the doctor." Anya requested with all the restraint she could muster.

"What appears to be the problem?" Doctor Crusher came out of her office when she saw Anya come into Sickbay, dressed in a robe over her sleeping clothes, her hair falling down along her back in a long braid, and a look of fear in her eyes that startled Beverly when she saw it. Anya was clutching Carina who apparently looked to be in some distress.

"Put the child down here." Beverly ordered and Anya did as she was told. The child was trying to cry but her congestion and croupy cough made it difficult. The baby had a temperature and looked quite miserable.

"She woke me up with a choking sound." Anya whispered as she watched the doctor run a scanner over Carina.

"I'm just going to give her something for the cough, and open her airways, then I'm going to need to put Carina into a steam room to help loosen up the congestion." Beverly started, and Anya nodded. "Do you want to stay with her, or would you like one of the nurses to take her."

"I'll go with her." Anya nodded and Beverly agreed. The child had a classic case of croup. Even through years or study and awareness of the childhood illness medical science had never developed a more progressive treatment, so decongestants and steam with oxygen still proved to be the best line of action. Beverly administered the first round of drugs to the baby and then stripped the child down to just her diaper and lead Anya back to one of the treatment rooms that was now filled with warm steam and had Anya take her own robe off and sit in the rocking chair that had been set inside.

"Okay, I will be back in a short while. The drugs will help open the airways, the moist air in here with the increased Oxygen will hopefully shake the congestion up and help Carina breath better. I'll show you how to do some back cupping if she isn't better in a bit. I have her vitals up on the screen so I will be monitoring the entire time you're in here, if you have any problems just call for some help." Beverly ordered and closed Anya into the room.

Beverly didn't share that she had collected some of Anya's vitals as well and as she looked on the screen she couldn't help but notice that Anya's own heart rate and blood pressure was also quiet elevated, if they didn't come down shortly she'd been treating two patients instead of just one. She watched as Anya held onto her child and rocked the chair back and forth gently. When Beverly checked on them a while later, both there vitals were starting to improve and Beverly realized that she had provided the best course of action.. A few hours later, Beverly brought the two of them out of the room and handed Anya some dry clothes and told her change, she took Carina and changed the baby and wrapped her in a blanket and laid her in the crib in the main area of sickbay. "You two will spend the rest of the day here. I think she's over the worst of it, but I just want to make sure.." Beverly watched as Anya sat down beside her daughter and watched over her until she fell asleep and before Beverly had a change in shift herself, Anya had curled up on the cot beside the crib her hand reaching through the bars in the crib and resting comforting on the child's small body.

"Is she better?" Anya asked as she startled awake sometime later. Beverly had just finished scanning the baby whose colour was obviously much better, and though she was still weak and lethargic, Carina was over the worst of it.

"Over the worst of it for sure. A few more hours and maybe you'll like to take her he back to your cabin." Beverly offered.

"So quickly?" Anya asked surprised.

"She'll do better in familiar surroundings with her own blankets and toys." Beverly assured.

"I was very scared." Anya shared suddenly. "She struggled to breath…"

"The Croup is unfortunately still very common in children Carina's age. It isn't an easy bug, but children normally bounce back quickly."

"It was very familiar to the illness on the colony." Anya struggled to share as she reached out to stroke her childs fast moving stomach and chest. "I… It… Oh I panicked!"

"Oh Anya, of course you did and it's completely understandable." Beverly came over to put a comforting hand onto Anya. Anya looked over at Beverly.

"Will I never stop… Every time Carina gets sick… Will I automatically go to the worst case scenario? I don't want to be one of those parents that wraps their child in a bubble, but I don't know if I lost her…" Anya was surprised that she was so easily shaken, tears dripped down her face and she dropped her head embarrassed. Beverly turned the young woman towards her and enveloped her in hug. It was the only thing that felt right as the woman had a moment of release.

"It will be ok." Beverly assured as she held onto Anya. "I was always hyper vigilant with Wesley after Jack died."

"I had forgotten that you're husband too had passed away…"

"It's been quite some time." Beverly reminded. "I've had close to 15 years. Wesley was also past this first year of development before he died."

"I find it exhausting." Anya sighed. "I don't know what it would have been like if Kyle had been part of this process, I suspect he would be up a lot with Carina… He would have been very involved…" Anya started again but tears filled her throat and she put her hand to her forehead and rubbed her temple. Beverly quickly pulled her tri quarter out and scanned Anya and saw elevated pain synapses in the quick scan.

"Anya, I would still like you to return back to your quarters, but I think I'm going to see if Geordie can come and listen out for Carina while you crawl into bed and get some good sleep. You haven't had much sleep since all this started and you look worn out. You're starting to concern me.." Anya didn't argue, and let Beverly organize things before walking with Anya back to her quarters.

"Hey Girl, heard you and Cari had a ruff night." Geordie greeted softly as they went into Anya's quarters.

"It was very scary." Anya shared and looked a little fragile as she shared the story with her friend. "Carina's doing better though." Anya finished and Geordie quickly came and hugged her tightly Anya's tense body relaxed slightly as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to take Anya into her bedroom and give her something to help her sleep for a bit." Beverly shared and Geordie took the baby and went towards the nursery. Beverly led Anya to her room and got her settled into bed before pulling out a hypospray.

"So, this will help you sleep for a few hours, don't worry about anything, Geordie is here and I'm only moments away if Carina needs anything. I need you to get some good sleep so you can look after your little girl." Beverly ordered. "You are no good to her if you're exhausted."

"Thank you." Anya whispered as she felt the drug quickly take effect. Beverly sat with the young woman for a few moments scanning quickly to make sure that Anya responded to the sedative as predicted. She brushed a stray hair away from Anya's relaxed forehead before leaving.

"I'll listen for Cari and if she needs anything I will let you know." Geordie assured. Beverly nodded her head, she didn't need to say anything more.

"If you notice anything strange with Anya when she wakes up. Contact me as well. I'm sure some of this is typical new parent exhaustion, but she's trying to over compensate for everything at the moment and the blocks that she's been stacking so carefully are going to start to topple. Having Carina get sick has just started the tumble.." Beverly smiled and felt that she had already started to preach to the converted. Geordie would move mountains to help keep these two safe and secure a true friend couldn't be found.

"Absolutely Doctor. I will watch over both of them"

"Thanks Geordie, you are great friend." Beverly admitted with a sincere smile and left.

In the silence of the quarters, Geordie walked around and looked closely at the few personal belongings that Anya had put out. Pictures of her family, and Kyle's family were scattered around. A beautiful quilt hung on the wall as well a few draped over the larger pieces of furniture. What looked like bonnets were framed in boxed frames and antique jars filled with different dried items lined a shelf with a few other older looking items that brought her farming background forward and a few musical instruments reflected Kyle's gifts. He settled at the computer terminal at Anya's desk and logged in to work remotely on a few things.


	13. Chapter 13

Anya slept for a quite some time before she woke to find Geordie rocking Carina with a bottle in his hand.

"She woke up and looked thirsty, I talked with Dr. Crusher and she suggested giving her a bottle of enhanced electrolytes to give back what she's lost while being sick. I didn't think she'd drink it, but she did. I think she's fallen back asleep." Geordie updated. "You look better."

"I feel better, I wasn't myself before. I feel less on edge now." Anya admitted.

"Good. So, maybe you'd like to have something to eat. I hear grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup is always a good choice after a good nap."

"Actually that doesn't sound so bad." Anya agreed and watched as Geordie carefully put Carina back down and proceeded to organize the meal. The two sat in friendly silence and ate the food. "Maybe you'd like to stay a bit longer Geordie, we could pull up a holomovie or something… I haven't watched many in a while."

"I'd like that.. The new releases just got put up a few days ago. I'm sure there's one we could agree on." They sat down on the couches and settled in to watch one. So it was surprise to both of them when the door chiming awoke them.

"Anya? Are you okay?" The door chimed again and Anya startled awake

Geordie was just stretching when they caught Deanna walk into the cabin overriding the lock with her security clearance. "Oh, I thought you'd be on your own… I didn't… The computer told me that Anya was in her quarters and when she didn't respond to the chime I thought maybe she was… "

"Counselor.. Geordie came over to help me with Carina… We watched… We must have fallen asleep." Anya shared disjointedly. Geordie stood up and waved to Deanna.

"Movies always make me sleepy, we just watched a holo.."

"It's good to have such friends." Deanna returned and could sense both of them were a little embarrassed by the situation, but neither of them were hiding anything either so she just smiled. "Beverly and I had breakfast this morning and she told me about your recent time in Sickbay and I thought maybe you'd like to talk to someone about what happened?"

"I sorta freaked out." Anya shared. "Got caught up with the emotions of Carina being sick and the similarities that I saw from the outbreak at home." Anya then turned back to Geordie. "I was very thankful that Geordie was able to come and stay with me. It meant a lot to have his support."

"I can sense that. You've had a lot happen over a short period of time." Deanna reminded. "Children being sick can cause a lot of stress for parents. That's normal."

"Having a meltdown in Sickbay isn't really a response that is normal." Anya went to replicator. "Did you want some tea or coffee?" She asked both her guests.

"Thanks Anya, but I should probably report for duty. I'll check back with you at the end of the shift. It looks like Dr. Crusher has relieved you of duty for another few days so you can stay with Cari." Geordie also noted reminding her of the message from the night before. Anya nodded and then turned back to Deanna.

"I'll have a cup of coffee if you are going to have one as well."

"Oh I think I might need one." Anya nodded and ordered two coffees and brought them over to the couch again where Deanna sat down with Anya.

"No, having a meltdown in Sickbay isn't normally the response we see in parents, but it isn't that uncommon either. You were under stress and then you've handled the passing of Kyle well, yet you still grieve for him,"

"This isn't the way I wanted to raise Carina." Anya shared. "I wanted Kyle to be part of this, he should be part of this. He wanted Carina just as much, if not more than I did. He wanted to raise her surrounded by music, and art, other children and safety. He wanted to give her all the opportunities in the universe, and now he's not here to do it."

"That can be hard to wrap your head around can't it." Deanna started.

"I can wrap my head around it no problem, it's my heart that doesn't want to wrap around anything accept Kyle and Carina." Anya sighed wisely. "Then we put her first real illness into the mix and I'm a wreak."

"She's better though."

"Slept through the night, should be waking anytime."

"Have you been able to open the gift that Kyle wanted Carina to have when she was born yet?" Deanna asked and surprised Anya that she would suddenly bring that forward during this talk.

Anya shook her head. "No, I wanted to a few times, but I've come to the conclusion that the gift was for Carina, that maybe she should be the one to open it."

"Or, maybe it's important for Carina to have it now.. Kyle wanted to give it to her as a baby that's why he had it ready." Deanna reminded and Anya dropped her head again and felt the tears start. Deanna moved closer to the woman when she felt the overwhelming sadness descend upon Anya as she struggled with that idea.

"Geordie and I spoke of this but I'm not sure what to think. Will this get any easier? Every milestone that Carina has it will be reflected on the day that Kyle died and this guilt I have for not being able to help him. This is mixed with the joy of having this little girl in my life… It's so hard!" Anya sighed.

"Yes, it is." Deanna agreed and rubbed Anya's back as she mopped her face. "You will have to work on creating new memories and new feelings of happiness and joy. I also think that you should open Kyle's gift."

"Now?" Anya asked.

"When you are ready." Deanna started. "Yet, the sooner you can do it the sooner you can stop holding onto that unknown part that sits on the shelf every time you go into Carina's room."

"Okay. I think I understand." Anya sighed and then the two woman heard a cough and a small cry as Carina awoke. Anya stood to go and gather her daughter, and as she changed her daughter and brought her out, she was surprised to see Deanna had remained and put out a bit of breakfast for her. "Thank you." Anya smiled.

"You're welcome. I will come and check back on you tomorrow…" Deanna ran a hand over Carina's head and child the cuddled closer into her mothers neck but gave Deanna a small smile. "Look after this little one."

"I promise, I will." Anya returned and Deanna left.


	14. Chapter 14

'Are you able to meet in the holo deck at 1800hrs, please come its important.' That was all the message said, so when Geordie, Deanna and Beverly arrived within a few feet of each other they were surprised to see each other.

"Why is Anya inviting us to the holodeck." Beverly asked as they walked through the door. They entered into an orchard, blooming with spring blossoms and fresh green grass. The blossoms created a sweet and welcoming scent to the air and the sun shone and made the newly formed leaves dance and sparkle. In the clearing of the orchard they found a few chairs and Anya standing with Carina.

"I'm so glad you could come." Anya greeted and encouraged them to sit in the chairs and then stood beside one of the Enterprise's Spiritual Support Team, Ensign Mckenna.

"Thank you coming everyone, I was approached by Anya a few days ago and asked if I would be willing to help facilitate a special event in Carina's life and I agreed as long as she agreed to help me with some of the details, as I've never been asked to assist in a Mennonite Faith Baby Dedication. So, Anya has been very helpful and between the two of us we will muddle through I'm sure in a way that is respectable to Anya's heritage." Mckenna smiled at Anya who smiled warmly back.

"I'm thankful that you have all be able to come today. Spiritual Guide Mckenna had said that we could have this in the ship's sacred space, but I wanted to bring you all here to this special place that's found on Brudordorf, not far from my family's farm and a community place where everyone in the community shares in the harvest every fall. This orchard represents to me a place of new growth, life giving food and peace for those that come. Carina will know this place as she grows I will return back to my family many times and share with her the importance. When she is old enough she will be able to make her choices and travel and go wherever she feels called to go. I will let her go much like my parents have let me go to come and live among all you here on the Enterprise."

"Carina's dedication represents a start on her spiritual journey, baby dedications are not only for the baby but for the adults in the child's life. I realize that you all don't share the same faith that I have but since I haven't really followed the normal path of my own faith, I've changed it around a bit. Baby dedications present to the child a community that will help raise her and show her into the world. My promise to her is that I will provide in her life, people of varying ages that will teach her everything she needs to knows, show her the wonders of the universe, share with her the good and bad of this world while keeping her safe, and will help me raise her with love and a community that she deserves. I know that the people on the Enterprise and any place I choose to go while she is young will have this, as a child cannot be raised only by her parents alone. I am thankful that you have all had a part in her young life. Carina does miss out on having her father present to raise her, but he has not left her completely without." Anya walked over to Geordie and handed Carina over to him, in which the child went most willingly.

"Geordie, we met so soon after coming to the academy. Both of us holding onto secrets and feeling very different than the other cadets. We found each other during a lecture on combat techniques. A girl raised by people who are pacifists and you still trying to figure out the newest visor. We kept our heads down and tried to get through the practical side without gaining any attention from the instructor and show how absolutely hopeless we were in protecting anyone with a phaser or any other weapon. You went with me after the lecture to the Dean and helped me get exempted from the class, and I introduced you to my roommate who happened to be quite adept at the techniques and with some extra help you managed very well. You've proved to me over the years, and specifically these past eight months that you are a fierce protector and guardian and I truly thankful." Anya laid a hand on the head of her child and then onto Geordie's broad chest and smiled. "I know that she will learn to be brave and kind and gentle from you Geordie, I know that you will teach her how to see the world in a different way and I look forward to seeing this as Carina grows." She took Carina back after Geordie gave the child a soft kiss on her head.

She turned Beverly and her eyes filled with tears, not sad tears but those of gratitude and Beverly took the child. "I know that these past few months would be a different journey without your support Beverly, I am grateful that I can turn to you to talk about the challenges of being a single parent, a young widow and a woman who wishes to seek and use the skills that she has to help others." Anya sighed and took hold of one Beverly's hand and placed her hand back to Carina's head. "I know that she will learn how to help people from you Beverly, she will see how you help heal and make people better, she will learn that she can be strong and follow her dreams no matter what stands in her way. She may even learn to dance if she's lucky." Anya added and the small group laughed comfortably together for a moment. "Thank you…" Collecting Carina she went lastly to Deanna and with a small squeal of delight Carina fell quickly into the other woman's waiting hands.

"You have continually returned time and time again to guide me emotionally through my loss of Kyle. You have helped me a dry a river of tears and challenged me to sort out my questions and hurt. Deanna you have shown me a light does continue to walk with me and you have never asked me to question my faith or choices.. You have just been there." Anya took hold of Deanna's hand and held it to her own head, while she put her hand on her daughters. "You sometimes sense more than I'm willing to share yet you don't push me further than I can manage. I know that Carina will learn how to offer council and hope from you Deanna, she will learn that sometimes just sitting in silence without any words will be enough. She will learn that her emotions and feelings matter and she will have this reinforced by you. I will always be indebted to you and your care." Anya's eyes brimmed with tears but sparkled with hope at the same time.

Anya then turned back to the small table and brought forward a holo imaging machine and rested it in her open palm. "I finally opened the gift from Kyle to Carina a few days ago. What I found I wasn't overly surprised, but I will be forever glad that I took the challenges provided by the three of you to open it now, so Carina will have it as she continues to develop." Anya turned on the machine and small holo image of Kyle filled the space above it. He was holding onto a guitar and smiled as he strummed a few chords and then his rich voice filled the space and he sang a haunting hymn that was hundreds of years old. "When Peace Like a River…" Carina sat enchanted by the music as the rest sat in reverence as the man sang and then when it was over Anya stood up again. "Kyle, Carina's father recorded many songs for her on this… He wanted to give it to her when she was little so she could have music in her life always, but also know what songs were important to him and Carina will learn as she is surrounded with music of her history and faith. Kyle didn't know that he wouldn't be here to share all this with her. So it makes the gift all that more meaningful…" Anya then looked back at group and smiled.

"I am so glad that you opened the gift." Deanna hugged Anya when she had a chance to speak with her privately.

"It was so hard!" Anya shared. "It was overdue though, so when I did open it, I felt guilty, but it didn't last long. There really is a lot to be thankful for… Even in my grief, I just need to keep hold of that."

"Absolutely." Deanna reassured and hugged her again.

"You managed to get exempted from Combat Techniques?" Beverly asked smugly as she came and hugged Anya.

"I had to take a secondary course of mediation work, though in lieu of it and be a voluntary Ambassadors Aide for a year at the academy. It was way more work, but so worth it." Anya admitted. "Plus I'm not supposed to go on away missions that may involve any combat."

"I would be ok with that." Beverly admitted. "Thank you for your kind words and including me in Carina's dedication service."

"I wouldn't have had it if you hadn't been able to attend." Anya returned adamantly. With the two women gone and McKenna packing up his things, Geordie and Anya walked slowly through the orchard.

"I thought the words you shared were pretty profound." Geordie shared.

"They were the truth." Anya paused and looked at her friend. "I don't know where things may go with us Geordie, and I can't tell you I'm ready for anything more than what we have currently, but I want you to know that in my eyes, you have all the qualities of a man that I want forever in Carina's life."

"I totally understand what you're saying Anya, and for now I am prepared to wait and see what might come, but I always want you to know that you have a friend in me. I will remain in Carina's life for as long I am able." Geordie then took Carina into his arms and tossed her gently up into the sky in which the child squealed with enjoyment and Anya sighed with content. Life was going to be okay..


End file.
